At anytime during a Transition Process, we are scared. This is a natural way to feel. We don't have directions, we weren't given a manual on what to expect and how to deal with the signs and symptoms associated with End of Life. How are we supposed to know? Even Google doesn't seem to help right now. 

When my husband of 25 years became ill with the Flu, spending 55 days bedside in the hospital taught me a few things. My days taught me the medications he was on, the names of the tests performed on him each day and I even learned the shift nurses names. 

What it didn't teach me is the reason for this page. During his final days, I was scared out my mind. My body was filled with fear, anxiety, nervousness and incomprehension. I was over tired, over stressed and just wanted to crawl in the corner and put a blanket over my head. I had two boys about to come into the room and watch their Dad die. Was this the hardest thing I've ever had to do? You bet. 

What I remember most about these moments was the disconnect I had with the process that was about to unfold. I thought if I knew what to expect and what could be done, I would feel a little better and help my boys to see this would all be OK, this is a natural part of life. 

I remember walking up and down the hall, in and out of the room, asking so many questions and not getting direct answers. I wanted more information. I needed to know more, not later, right now.